I was going to start the year off with a piece on upcoming designers, but decided to switch it up. I am going to start the year with where we ended the year….Kicking it with Kicking Kicks.

So we know that men and women love fresh runners; what about heels? This women’s passion is not just for the ladies. Some of the top women’s shoe designers are men, most of the shoe admires are men, women aren’t the only ones wearing them and a little secret I am going to let you in on gents; we wear them for you. You think we don’t notice that fixated gaze when we strut on by in our sexy stilettos? The way our legs look like two well toned statuesque columns, our booties perked up like someone having their first coffee of the morning and how our hips sway from side to side like curtain caught in a tropical breeze. Lol…yes we notice that you notice hence why bear the pain.

This fashionable delight and fetish started over 1000 B.C. in Ancient Egypt when heel like shoes were worn to elevate your status. We thought money was the original status symbol. Think again. As time went on an old Grecian theatrical actor named Esquilo decided to borrow the idea from the Egyptians and used a platform shoe to differentiate his characters roles and status in his plays. In the 1100’s King Henry II of England popularized them by wearing them to cover up his deformed toes introducing us to the pointed toe heels. Fast forward to the 1500’s another famous Henry, King Henry II of France wore them to make up for his short comings in height.

 His wife, Queen Catherine loved them so much she started having her own made. Boy, how the French love their heels. In 1926 in the Far East, Emperor Hirohito was crowned in 30cm platform shoes. Not only were heels worn for status, fashion and heightening but knights and warriors would wear a downward pointing boot with a spurred heel on the back to help them to keep grip while riding. It wasn’t the cowboys who invited the cowboy boot, but rather The Knights of Richard the Lionhearted.

Now, this is where it gets fun and interesting. The debate of origin that inspired the term; “fuck me shoes” was coined. Some say it was the Japanese, other say Chinese and some say the Turkish. One thing these three have in coming is that their concubines, courtiers and odalisques all wore some variation of heel that measured 15 to 30 cm. Some say so it was to make it harder for them to escape, causing them to struggle if they tried to run away.

Also in old Roman times a working girl was identified by her shoes. Again nothing says fuck me like a sexy ass pair of heels, pumps or stilettos.

Jumping into the 20th Century is when we started seeing shoes becoming so much more. This is when they really started making a statement, a fashion statement. In the roaring 20’s where flapper girls wore a kitten to mid heel with blunt toes as they shimmied their way across hooting nanny or box social. This was a time when they were passionate for pumps. You think the 1950’s were drab, think again. This was an era that reeked of sex. Pin up girls with pin up curves brought sensuality which is the stiletto. This thin medal rod that descended from the form of the shoe had men saying, “Hubba hubba” while their tongues were wagging.

Now that is a shoe that screamed sex. The 1960’s brought a somewhat invite to the platform as they were strapped to the bottom of patent leather go-go boots that would make even Austin Powers himself a little randy. The seventies they not only got baked, but they got high. As the platform increased in height where instead of just a heel they blocked and stacked it more. This also brought about the wedge. The 80’s pumped it up as they brought back a higher form of pump.

The Zack Morris era was a toss up of between the stiletto and an in between platform, not quite heel but not quite stacked block. The 2000’s have been a mix of everything from a cowboy boot to pump to stiletto to platform. It is a time where you must not be just fashionable but also comfortable. Since everything has come full circle you just got to choose the decade that appeals to you.

Before I jet I want to take a look at the men who have designed them best and have worn them best. Also let’s peep the chicks that do them up the best. At the top of the list for male shoe designers we have to put, Christian Louboutin. His shoes are always comfy no matter how high his heel, the signature red bottom that is always a nice surprise and added pop of color. This is why he is King of Shoes.

Jimmy Choo is a close second. Being a household name with rappers, actresses and even Michelle Obama’s choice of shoe for the inauguration, how can he not make this list? His shoes always yell fun, sexy and fashionable. Jimmy Choo we solute you!

 I am a sucker for our third designer rounding up this top 3, Roberto Cavalli. His shoes have that Italian passion that always screams sex and have us screaming give us more, don’t stop. From his skinny stilettos to wowing wedges, I can’t get enough and nether can the world. I raise my glass of vino to Mr. Cavalli.

It was a hard choice but I definitely have to give some honourable mentions. Stuart Weitzman who always delivers for every red carpet event and Alexander McQueen who always pushes the envelope with his architectural genius with his shoe constructions. Manolo Blahnik who is a true American girl staple. Hello! Sex in the City shoe of choice.

 Now let’s really have our fun with this. The top 3 guys and dolls who walk it, run it and strut it the best. The top spot for guy goes to Rupal. He saches and chantes his way into the number one with the fierceness he has brought to the stage for years. Rupal, Darling please design a shoe line, we all know it would be fab. Our number one fem is a lady that is no stranger to the runway, Heidi Klum. On or off the run way she works those heels. Even when sporting which seems to be a regular baby bump as of late, she still works it. Heidi to you I say, “Arbeiten Sie es Mädchen!” translation “Work It Girl!” in German.

Our runners up are; Prince for the lads and Top Model herserlf Tyra Banks. My Aunt Vivian once said’ “she has never seen a man nor woman dance in a pair of platforms the way Prince does.” That right there says why he is on this list. Miss Tyra makes the list since she is creating an army of stomping mini protégés to follow in her foot steps.

We can’t talk Top Model without rounding out the bottom without mentioning Ms. Jay Alexander. He brings fierceness and confidence anytime he hits the stage or walks into a room. Damn he even taught our number 2 women on the list how to walk. We would be gaga not to have this lovely musical raunch vixen on our list.

Lady Gaga has taken it to the heights with not only her music and performance, but also her shoe game. Hello if you haven’t seen the Bad Romance video, check it out. The heels she walks, vogues and dances in on a daily basis are ridiculous. I cringe just watching.  

 Anyways just writing this week’s article has my feet throbbing, so I am going go treat myself to a pedi. But for the first one of the year I gave yall history, fact, sex and laughs. What more can you ask for?

So to those who laugh at the female struggling in a pair of staggering stilettos outside the club after a long night, remember she wore them for you. For those who laugh at the promenading pump wearing lads in the louboutins, remember men wore them first.  Strutting off! -  Veraye Bouge

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